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Top Tips
A few top tips for pissing people off.
***Girls: the next time you feel like throwing a ball over-arm, don't do it, because you can't and it looks very silly. Just throw it girlie under-arm style and no one will laugh at you or get hurt.
***Obtain the effect of New Year's Eve revelling this year, without the expense, by staying in and watching tv. Then wash your teeth in turpentine, drink a glass of washing up liquid and hit your head against the wall a few times before going to sleep.
***Dog owners: next time your dog does a 'soft one' on the beach, annoy metal detector owners by dropping nuts and bolts into it and covering it with sand.
***Obtain the effect of New Year's Eve revelling this year, without the expense, by staying in and watching tv. Then wash your teeth in turpentine, drink a glass of washing up liquid and hit your head against the wall a few times before going to sleep.
***Dog owners: next time your dog does a 'soft one' on the beach, annoy metal detector owners by dropping nuts and bolts into it and covering it with sand.
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