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Top 13 things you won't hear at the Daytona 500

erm... Top 13 things you won't hear at the Daytona 500
13> "None for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on=20 your teeth."

12> "Tampax! Get cha Tampax here!"

11> "Hey, shut up! I can't hear the race."

10> "Sex with your sister!? Man, that's sick."

9> "My GOD, this is a splendid Merlot!"

8> "Hey, you with the large breasts -- out of the way! =20 We're trying to watch a race here!"

7> "Chesterton, be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my attach=E9 case, then fetch me some clotted cream for my scone."

6> "What a coincidence, Hank -- all my friends are boycotting Hooters, too!"

5> "These are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"

4> "Good morning, Mr. Trickle. We at 'Depends' understand you're looking for a new corporate sponsor..."

3> "Whew! No more beer for me, fellas..."

2> "Filling in for Dale 'the intimidator' Earnhardt today is substitute driver, Michael 'Lord of the Dance' Flatley."

and the Number 1 Thing You Won't Hear At The Daytona 500...

1> "...and now, singing our national anthem -- international=20 recording artist Boy George!"
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