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Tech. Support no nos
The top 12 things you don't want to hear from tech support
12. "Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"
11. "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
10. "So -- what are you wearing?"
9. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
8. "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."
7. "Press for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press if you're with the FTC."
6. "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
5. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
4. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
3. "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
2. "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
and the Number Thing You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support...
1. "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."
11. "...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."
10. "So -- what are you wearing?"
9. "Duuuuuude! Bummer!"
8. "Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."
7. "Press for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press if you're with the FTC."
6. "We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery."
5. "I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
4. "In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."
3. "Hold on a second... Mom! Timmy's hitting me!"
2. "Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."
and the Number Thing You Don't Want to Hear From Tech Support...
1. "Please hold for Mr. Gates' attorney."
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