the humor archives

A study into the relationship between kids and the parents

* Housewife: "How did you know I was home ? My son told you I was out"
Salesman: "It was easy Lady. He was mowing the lawn."
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* Father: "$10 ??? When I was a boy, I asked for quarters."
Son: "OK Dad, have it your way -- may I have 40 quarters ?"
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* Yuppie Father: "Eat your dinner !"
Child: "Motivate me !"
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* Any Father will tell ya that parents spend the first 2-3 years
of a daughter's life trying to teach them to talk, and the next
15 or so trying to get them to shut-up.
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* Baby sitter (greeting the returning parents): "Don't apologize
for being late. If I had your two, I wouldn't be in any hurry
to get back home either."
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* Mother: "How come I haven't seen that boy you met on vacation ?"
Daughter: "Which one Ma ?"
Mother: "You know. The one you couldn't live without."
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* 1st Father: "I guess I'm just wasting my breath when I give
advice to my son."
2nd Father: "Not at all ! Years from now, he'll be giving
the same advice to his son."
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* Mother: "What did Father say when he learned you're pregnant ?"
Daughter: "Shall I leave out the profanity ?"
Mother: "Yes, of course !"
Daughter: "Nothing."

tags: kids parents relationship