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New Element Discovered
The administrative element
The heaviest element known to science was discovered recently by physicists at the Naval Research Laboratory in Washington, DC. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in a nucleus by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.
Since it has no electrons, Administatium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administatium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead, undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons change places. Some studies have shown that the atomic weight actually increases after each reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, universities, and the United Nations. It can actually be found in the newest, best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administatium is know to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any positive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determin how Administatium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.
Since it has no electrons, Administatium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administatium caused one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally occur in less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately years, at which time it does not actually decay, but instead, undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons change places. Some studies have shown that the atomic weight actually increases after each reorganization. Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, universities, and the United Nations. It can actually be found in the newest, best maintained buildings.
Scientists point out that Administatium is know to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any positive reactions where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determin how Administatium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.
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