the humor archives

A few very rude limericks

There once was a man from Kent
Whose dick was so long that it bent.
To save himself trouble,
He put it in double,
And instead of coming, he went.

A horny young lady named Lil
Fucked a dynamite stick for a thrill.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil.

There once was a hermit named Dave
Who kept a dead whore in his cave.
She smelled like shit,
And was missing a tit.
But think of the money he saved.

There once was a man from Brighton
Who said to his girl, "You're a tight one"
She said, "Pardon my soul,
But you're in the wrong hole.
There's plenty of room in the right one."

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
As he said with great glee,
As it hung past his knee,
"If my nose were a cunt I could fuck it"

tags: limerick limericks