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Funny things kids have said
funny quotes from kids
After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard her three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was *that*?"
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A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers & sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."
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A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
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A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
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A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age 14
Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11
Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at least a minute.
Lisa Coburn, age 9
Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. Nick Coleman,age 9
Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk. Bruce Wagner, age 13
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A new neighbor asked the little girl next door if she had any brothers & sisters. She replied, "No, I'm the lonely child."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A ten-year-old, under the tutelage of her grandmother, was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. Then one day she floored her grandmother by asking, "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus: the Virgin Mary or the King James Virgin?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the covers off thy neighbor's wife."
A realist is more correct about things in life than an optimist. But the optimist seems to have more friends and much more fun. Megan, age 14
Never give up because life gets harder as you get older. After preschool the road of life keeps getting bumpier and bumpier and bumpier. Angela Martin, age 11
Never blow in a cat's ear because if you do, usually after three or four times, they will bite your lips! And they don't let go for at least a minute.
Lisa Coburn, age 9
Don't think life is easy, because when you get older it is hard work. I used to think life was easy, now I have to do the dishes every other day. Nick Coleman,age 9
Take risks. I mean, if you like this person and you don't know if they like you, ask them out and see what happens. I liked this girl and asked her out. She said no and she hates me now, but I took that risk. Bruce Wagner, age 13
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