Fantastic Tommy Cooper one-liners
A whole load of fantastic tommy cooper one-lines
Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The other one says "So are you, you fat bastard" Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' "Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in".


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