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A Few Short Jokes
A few short jokes about sex
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stresses the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses will be accepted except illness (with a medical certificate) or a death in the immediate family (with a note from that member). A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with:
"Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
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This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?"
She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again.
He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?"
She says, "Well, your name never came up."
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Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's station-wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn." Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that good looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?" "Yes, I have to admit that I did." "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."
"Well, thanks a lot, pal...she just died and left me her farm."
"Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
----
This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?"
She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again.
He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?"
She says, "Well, your name never came up."
----
Jack decides to go skiing with his buddy Bob. They load up Jack's station-wagon and head north. After driving for a few hours, they get caught in a terrible blizzard. They pull into a nearby farmhouse and ask the attractive lady of the house if they can spend the night. "I'm recently widowed," she explains, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Not to worry," Jack says, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn." Nine months later, Jack gets a letter from the widow's attorney. He calls up his friend Bob and says, "Bob, do you remember that good looking widow at the farm we stayed at?" "Yes, I do." "Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and have sex with her?" "Yes, I have to admit that I did." "Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turns red and he says, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."
"Well, thanks a lot, pal...she just died and left me her farm."
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